Walking the Wall

When we grow up, we want to write Chinese advertising/marketing copy like the following, taken verbatim from a RuChun rose tea package. After reading this, how could you resist a Valentine’s Day cuppa?

Rose other calling card rose, red rose, rose. The rose is the plant for the rose family wild rose. Is used as medicine by the colored flowering fern, center medicine named rose. The colored flowering fern contains the volatile oil, live oak and so on. Nature wet, taste sweet and tiny bitter has dispels symptoms such as bloating the solution to be strongly fragrant, with the blood, stops pain, regulates menstruation and so on the function, mainly treats the hepatogastric to be mad the pain, the food little vomits wickedly, menstruation does not move, falls throws oneself the grief and so on sickness, often drinks the rose flower-scented green tea to the bodily beneficial health.